Amusing and FAKE Virus Warnings - #3

The following is a list of yet more computer viruses. Be Alert!! (the world needs more lerts...)

PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS:

Your system works fine, but it complains loudly about foreign software.

COLIN POWELL VIRUS:

Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.

BILL CLINTON VIRUS:

Suddenly appears from nowhere, promises to upgrade all your applications, gains control of your computer, then totally corrupts your entire system for four years.

HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS:

Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later, in another directory.

O. J. SIMPSON VIRUS:

You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it.

BOB DOLE VIRUS:

Could be virulent, but it's been around too long to be much of a threat.

STEVE FORBES VIRUS:

All files are reported as the same size.

STAR TREK VIRUS:

Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS:

Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS:

The computer locks up, and the screen splits in half with the same message appearing on each side of the screen. The message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.

GEORGE BUSH VIRUS:

It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs...no new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional virus.

ELVIS VIRUS:

Your computer gets fat, slow, lazy, then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across America.

SEARS VIRUS:

Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and a set of shocks.

JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS:

Your programs can never be found again.

KEVORKIAN VIRUS:

Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.