If Microsoft were headquartered in Kentucky...

1. Their # 1 product would be Micr'soft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd get a beer bottle
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty garbage bag
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" and "Naw"
5. Instead of a "Ta-da!", the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos"
6. The recycle bin in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you'd hear a digitized drunk yell "Freebird!"
8. Instead of ""Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be "Achy-Breaky Heart"
9. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
10. Winders '95 would incorporate the Confederate Flag
11. New shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, Y'heah?"
12. Instead of VP, Micr'soft bigshots would be called "Cuz"
13. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
14. Micr'soft Office would be known as Micr'soft Henhouse
15. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
16. Well, the first thing you know old Bill's a billionaire
17. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
18. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
19. Micr'soft CEO: Bubba Gates