#include &ltnonsense.h>
  #include &ltlies.h>
  #include &ltspyware.h> /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
  #include &ltprocess.h> /* For the court of law */
  #define say(x) lie(x)
  #define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
  #define next_year soon
  #define the_product_is_ready_to_ship   another_beta_version
 
   void main()
   {
     if (latest_window_version>one_month_old)
     {
       if (there_are_still_bugs)
         market(bugfix);
       if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
         raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
     }
     while(everyone_chats_about_new_version)
     {
       make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in
                                                       lie.h */
       if (rumours_grow_wilder)
         make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);
 
       if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)
       {
         market_time=ripe;
         say("It will be ready in one month);
         order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
         order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);
         order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);
         vapourware=TRUE;
         break;
       }
     }
     switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress)
     {
        case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:
          say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing");
          break;
        case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK:
          say("Yes it will work");
          ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);
          pretend(there_is_no_problem);
          break;
        case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:
          say("It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to"
              " the 32 bits architecture");
          inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");
          inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant"
                 "'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs");
          inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");
          get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM);
          break;
        case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:
          say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for
               everyone");
          register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);
          when(time_is_ripe)
          {
            arrest(journalist);
            brainwash(journalist);
            when(journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree)
            {
              order(journalist, "write a nice objective article");
              release (journalist);
            }
          }
          break;
     }
     while (vapourware)
     {
        introduction_date++; /* Delay */
        if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)
          break;
        say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH);
     }
     release(beta_version)
     while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)
     {
       bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;
       release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);
       introduce(more_memory_requirements);
       if (customers_report_installation_problems)
       {
        say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem");
         if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play)
         {
           ignore(customer);
           order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this
                                                 bastard");
         }
       }
       if (there_is_another_company)
       {
         steal(their_ideas);
         accuse(compagny, stealing_our_ideas);
         hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */
         wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);
         buy_out(other_company);
       }
     }
     /* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at
        us */
     order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
     buy(nice_little_island); hire(harem);
     laugh_at(everyone,
   for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version);
   }
 
   void bugfix(void)
   {
     charge (a_lot_of_money);
     if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
       say("It is not a bugfix but a new version");
     if (still_complaints)
     {
       ignore(customer);
       register(customer, Big_Bill_Book);
       /* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/
     }
   }